Sunday, March 27, 2016

Start a Public Brand business (Fan Club)

Define the mission and goal for the club 
Most eyes roll when they hear they need to create a mission statement. Many have been involved in a corporate exercise in creating a mission statement where you often end up with a bunch of vacuous words that have no real meaning and everyone forgets about. Often people "feel" they know what the mission is but when they try to articulate it, they can't. That's not to say a group can't be successful without a mission statement - however, in coming up with the goals you can help clarify in your mind what the long term goal is and help communicate that to others. Your mission may be to advance a political agenda, or to raise environmental awareness, or it might simply be to socialize and find future dates - it may be all of those things -- whatever it is, the more clearly articulated the vision, the more that you direct your efforts towards reaching that vision.
Create the structure you need
Some groups are so well organized that they institute officers, create a constitution, even create processes for amending the constitution and nominating, electing and removing officers. These types of processes are useful, even critical when a group scales - otherwise anarchy ensues. However, most groups starting out don't necessarily need a mini-government in place. Many groups just start with a few lighter weight processes:
Officers: usually there's a president (the leader), vice president (2nd in command and often leader of several important initiatives), treasurer (who handles the funds), secretary (who takes care of meeting minutes, next steps, etc.). Depending upon your group's need, you may also institute a publicity officer, webmaster, historian, etc. It is very helpful to define the roles as well, especially who has the right to decide what. For instance, some groups will require the treasurer to co-sign any checks with the president. In this way there is a check and balance within the group on the money.
If you are fairly serious, you may consider incorporating oftentimes as a nonprofit. Incorporating has many benefits such as limiting liability of members from debts and responsibilities. Incorporation also provides increased levels of "permanency", and it may help you with funding.
Meetings: usually a periodic meeting or event helps to keep things going in the group and to increase activity. It's also a great way for group members to help participate in events and to get to know each other better and share information. If you are holding meetings, pay particular attention to how meetings are run which leads to the next section.
Run Effective Meetings
Poorly run meetings reflect poorly on the leaders and are a big waste of time for the participants. While there are whole books written on having successful meetings, here are a couple of tips to make sure you are getting the most out of any meeting you host. First, define and publish an agenda. The meeting needs to have a purpose and participants may need to prepare in advance. Very few meetings require a surprise to be effective. An agenda also helps prevent you from straying off course. Many groups have individuals who want to express their opinions - leading everyone down the proverbial "rathole". An agenda helps you enforce whether that meeting is the appropriate place to address those issues or if you need to "table it" to another meeting. Always have a desired outcome for the meeting (e.g. get agreement on a particular initiative, or brainstorm and come up with 3 ideas for next year's events). You'll be often surprised at how better prepared you make a meeting by simply thinking through what type of decision or outcome you want from the meeting. Understand who needs to be there and what the roles are for the participants. Start the meeting on-time.
Many groups have a designated secretary who is tracking the "minutes" of the meeting - what was discussed and in particular, any conclusions that were made and any items to be tabled for a future discussion. This can be published so that there is a historical archive so that members can always go back and track what happened.
When you finish the meeting make sure you capture what the "action items" are. What is the next step - who does what, and by when and who is responsible for following up. Oftentimes, spending a few minutes to plan the next meeting is useful to do.
Many groups start off with a kick-off meeting to discuss the club and how it will operate. This should be your first meeting.
Funding and Budget
Most clubs need to spend money in order to perform activities, print flyers, host a lecture, etc. In order to spend money the club needs to get money and there are a variety of ways to fund the club's activities. Funding can be accomplished from the members themselves through membership dues, activity fees, donations. Funding can be also obtained through a variety of fundraising activities such as a bake sale, garage sale, car wash.
Many corporations and government institutions also fund and sponsor groups. Grant applications can be filled out to see if you qualify for this type of funding. Not all funding needs to be cash. Some companies for instance might provide equipment, or a place to hold an event or practice. They may ask for some form of sponsorship, for instance, a banner displayed at an event.
In addition, you may wish to connect with national, state and regional chapters of similar interest groups. They can be good sources of funding themselves or provide you with valuable insights on how to improving the effectiveness of your club.
Get the nuts and bolts down
Every club has a basic set of operations that help it operate more efficiently. There's nothing more frustrating for leaders and members to be in a poorly run group. Membership, and more importantly, participation will begin to sag as a result. Here are a couple of basics:
  • Get an updated roster. It's important for you to know who is in the group, how you reach them and what roles they play, what their membership status is, etc.. There are several electronic and web tools to help you, such as spreadsheets, word processing documents etc.
  • Get an email list group created. Communicating with the group is important and doing so easily without having to type in 50 emails each time will save you a lot of time. Getting a self-managed email group list will save you countless hours.
  • Create a website. A website is important for messaging not only to the group but also to the broader community. It's a great way to let people know what's going on (future events, how to get involved, etc.), what the accomplishments are of the group so that you can strengthen the binds within the group and also to recruit more members. Again, try to stay away from solutions that require a webmaster to make any change. You may not have a webmaster in the group and plus, you don't want to bottleneck all of your activities through one person. Was it Worth It? Being a part of clubs is an important part of everyday life. Forming clubs does take effort but the payoff is clear. As an organizer, you might think it is a thankless job, but keep in mind, people wouldn't join and participate if they didn't see value in it.

My life in the sunshine

Why would I love to own an apartment building in Hartford?
I don't know how personal I should be in this essay however I want you to genuinely know the writer of this and understand where my heart and my head is as I write to you I have started crowd funding  just so I could raise the money to send you the entry fee that's how extremely excited for this opportunity and dedicated to this project. 
I would simply like to bring my family back together. 
I'm 37 single mother of a 16 year old boy, I've had a boyfriend for the last 8 years and he's chronically Ill with a rare disease called retroperitoneal fibrosis. Im legally his caretaker. He is a good hard working man! For Seven years we have been renting a brownstone apartment on capital Avenue and every year our neighbors drive by with compliments on how beautiful he decorates the makeshift rooftop Patio we created with flowers and patio furniture. He's truly a gem always offering me beauty and comfort wherever I go from and indoors to outside my house feels like a palace. I love him very much he is an amazing man There is no way I'd ever be able to own the house that I live in at this moment we've been renting for seven years and the owners don't have a lease with option to buy out with this space and I've always wanted to own my own home. 
My story gets extremely personal and as I mentioned earlier I'm not sure exactly how personal I should get it however I don't believe you'll get to know the person without understanding the personal backstory so here goes. 
I used to be a really weak person I would never tell people what I truly felt what I wanted I would just assume they were right and will just follow orders and do what I was told which led me to having a really poor relationship with my mother and did not decide to date seriously for very long time because I had a mistrust with men mostly due to the father of my child who kidnapped my son at 11 months old. He was the first man I've ever trusted and he totally betrayed me for 12 years. Not only did I spend over 12 years searching for them I also spent every resource I had relocating and reinventing myself to eventually become a good mother when I did find him because I knew I would. I entered programs for family assistance and enrolled in adult education. I finished high school I live with my mother and other family members as I attended college got my 1st apartment and started building my credit. I got good jobs tried to save money and started a business and once I did I got on social media and that's where my son found me. MySpace saved my ass! I studied humanities and social science with hospitality that landed me a job at Ruth's Chris where I worked 3 years before applying to the Marriott. I sought a full time position in hospitality but landed 2 part time positions in customer service. There I learned of the expansion plans and building of Adrian's Landing. There I was determined to make myself a name in Hartford. I've had my heart set on entrepreneurship my whole life.  Most girls were conditioned in that way, when we're a baby were given a baby doll, not much younger than we are however we are expected to assume responsibility as mama of baby. I created my first business with my dolls and teddy Bears. By age 7 I was enterprising enough to ask for a job. I worked as an shrimp head remover for $.25 a lb then was promoted to an oyster shucker 2 days a week 4:30-7:30 made about $6.00 a day. At age 10, I started a business whole selling carnival toys to fairs and traveling carnivals. At 12 I was on my way to the post office to get a book of stamps when I saw an elderly couple planting sod and scraping paint off of the side of an old Victorian house I asked them if they needed help immediately hired me we tended all of the grounds. Intricately we restored the outside and inside of all 23 bedrooms of this historic mansion to a bed and breakfast inn. I was later hired as a housekeeper and maître d' at the inn. http://www.coombshouseinn.com/


When you think about it I guess that's the American dream for everyone to own a piece of property or land that you can call your own raise your family which leads to success a comfortable quality of life. Doesn't  matter your race or ethnicity or cultural background. My cultural roots started in a small town called Apalachicola Florida there with about 3000 people in total our family lived in a one room house with the kitchen added on an outhouse eventually restored to a bathroom and a living quarter thats it! We are all ethnically creole by definition. But we are mixed raced Americans with lineage from France, Africa, & Native America. There were 13 of us they're living in that house that we did feel wonderful because it was the only thing we owned. My grandmother was born in that house and she made sure to proudly boast to us that her mother and father purchased it for $1. Legally something happened not to my understanding when my grandmother passed away and we realize they were unpaid taxes on the house we eventually lost the house and because credit its is tough when you are uneducated or low income  we were back to renting apartments again. The family was suddenly split apart my uncles and my aunts took their children moved to different areas a lot of my family moved to upstate New York and to New York City. Unfortunately a lot of the cities and towns offered poor housing options and only affordable project living stack apartments and very small or infested spaces and it added a lot of stress and trauma to everyone not only the children that were split away from their cousins and growing up together as a family also to the adults who had to find new jobs a career options to raise their family. Everyone's world was turned upside down. We all had to make new friends and so many people noticed the displacement and took advantage. I believe a lot of the bigger cities were  overwhelming to the Southern comfort lifestyle a lot of the older relative that were stuck in their ways of living and found themselves completely isolated. Small towns offer a lot more instant trust and a neighborly camaraderie we weren't able to receive elsewhere. We have a lot of talented people in my family. Talent attracts a different source of people whereas we were used to having neighbors and friends that were often in the church had small businesses or community obligations we were able to fit in mostly in that community because we attended church services and was very much involved in our community as well working with kids or the elderly. A family of different writers musicians athletes artists playwrights actors singers dancers motivational speakers clergyman businessmen and women so much talent had to be wasted because we ended up living in towns where they would get jobs or change career options all together like mechanics working at factories working in construction or working in labor-intensive fields that were only available seasonally so we often moved to where the work was. The paper mills of Port St Joe, the construction site bridges of Panama City, the uprise of new construction in Atlanta Ga. The nursing and home health care boom of Albany Ny I'm the only one who decided to Pursue  my dream and reside in Hartford Connecticut, and dance. Now being here for the last 12 years I've been a proud resident. I come from a small town and lived in large cities so Hartford is perfect for me it's everything that I've ever wanted in a home I could raise my children and still become very successful in my business I can make amazing friends and have an amazing entertaining life style that allows me to be able to explore many of Hartford's arts music and historical gems that I've been able to share with my family when they do visit. Cultural education hasn't always been an option unfortunately places that are more fordable have very little cultural significance to the community Since I've lived here I've done nothing but tell all my friends and family from around the world how amazing this place really is even to where an old classmate decided to move here and give success a try here. I tell them how big cities like New York and Boston are just a scenic beautiful 2.5 hour drive away public transportation is booming and there's really no excuse to enjoy the outdoor living enjoying all four seasons and celebrating every national American holiday in style. I really wouldn't want to live anywhere else in America. I love watching this beautiful city grow up around me as it is renovated and reinvented by many of its charitable organization that get together and organize opportunities in the city for expansion. I really do feel like one of the first American pioneers settling to a new land that offer so much. I'm really sure my Native American ancestors would be proud so will my French and African-American ancestors would be as well because the dream is real. Hartford really does have it all. 

Embarrassing times at Ridgemont High

Remember the movie weird science ?Can you imagine if you created Pamela Anderson or Dita Von tease or Kim Kardashian? I am an self acclaimed actress model a singer dancer radio show host voice over personality and I have an overall fun demeanor and uniquely exotic appearance. However I'm kind of tired of getting by on my personality it takes too long to make an impression. I want to walk into a room and people are stunned. I like to say I'm a big fish in a small pond or I should have big boobs and be a blonde. I am probably the first person who ever placed a Backpage ad with this weekly advert  running "I am going to give one plastic surgeon the opportunity to give the best breast augmentation in the world  to me. I'm going to create a  website that Will allow the fans to choose all of the options including anesthesiologist  supplies operating room with a small donation gift to the surgery if the surgeon decides to donate the services I will allow them all the rights of public imagery and a 10% percentage of future earnings from their display and keep all funds earned during fundraiser!" Then I found out that many licenses were at jeopardy so surgeons did not want to participate and my social experiment and it was a huge failure. So here's my backstory I am 37 years old had four children only one survived he is now 16 years old in on road college bound. I desperately want a beauty makeover. Not that I have destroyed my body I just don't want the opportunity to let my body began to slip. When I lost three of my children I did not get extremely heavy and lose myself in depression I got back on the horse and start a pole dancing and that became my solace for exercise and psychological awareness of myself and empowered me to keep pushing on. I now teach pole dance fitness and burlesque dancing and to me it only makes sense for me to exude the sense of confidence that I teach others to have naturally a little help from a kind hearted surgeon with the magic to sculpt this form into a goddess would benefit the entire planet. It's a symbiotic effect I'll explain, A beauty makeover to me would consist of cosmetic dentistry rhinoplasty fat transfer and breast augmentation. A great smile and nice nose would lead to better face-to-face personal and interpersonal relationships with family and business. People will  stop text messaging and fidgeting  on their phones every time they look up they'll want to see a body like mine out of nowhere they will start saying hello and smiling at each other with the thought of my beautiful smile. Fat transfer or a butt and breast implants would benefit first the person who was getting rid of their fat (preferably my mom) and then of course me a person who is unable to gain much fat (me) I was premature by 3 months, however the natural fat would round out my figure into an hourglass shape my chest and derrière and would look great in or out of clothing. Which would make the planet extremely happy because no one would want to waste money by cutting down trees or creating wasteful garments which will lead to a free the nipple campaign and save the silk worm and the world will have to invest in Lycra spandex Which will drive  the stock market wild and free the economy financially of its debt of so we will save the world with your help to finance my cosmetic procedures! You could say you created Dita Von PamAnderDash

Positive Posts about Exotic Dancers

cyberstripper
08-08-2009, 02:02 PM
I have read too many negative posts lately :( I hate to hear about my fellow SWers going thru hard times, so I wanted to start a positive post: what is your Stripper Success story?

Wether you are using stripping to get ahead or go to college, or have been a dancer and moved forward with your life to a "real career", I want to hear your success stories.

Heres Mine:

I moved to Vegas about 5 years ago with $200.00 in my pocket, a backpack full of clothes and not much else. I left everything behind, I know it was risky but I was tired of my life. I was staying at the WILD WILD WEST (a scary hotel to say the least) until I was able to rent a room. 

I got into dancing and camming, and havent looked back since!! I now have a steadyish lol income, a beautiful condo and my two doggies! I feel like I have accomplished so much in the past 5 years. Everytime I drive past the wild wild west I always remember where I came from and how much progress I have made. Thinking about those times where I cried in my hotel room because I didn't know what to do, or where I would end up always keeps me motivated.
Christyismyalias
08-08-2009, 02:35 PM
Congratulations for you! It's a great feeling knowing you came from nothing and made yourself into something you love.

Mine is a work in progress.. I moved out of my parents house at 17 and started dancing as soon as I turned 18. Already hard into drugs when I started dancing, I went through years of bullshit and drug abuse, and it has taken me a few years to get it together and realize my potential. 
At this point, I am saving serious money, working towards setting myself up for my future with hopes of retirement and opening a business. I am also in college, getting my degree and most importantly, am 100% sober. 
I have realized the potential of this business and am working six days a week putting money away. I have also realized that I LOVE the business. I love entertaining people and I love being in control of my life. 

For myself, I am thankful to have gotten into the business, because I have learned sooooo much. I wouldn't necessarily promote the business for others, b/c you do sort of get thrown through the ringer, but it has turned into a blessing for me.
ilovetobenaked
08-08-2009, 02:40 PM
When I turned 18 I too left home with absoluetly NOTHING. Nada. No clothes, nothing. I had a car and that's it. I borrowed money from a friend and bought myself one pair of dancing shoes and a bikini and I started dancing and slept in my car for the first week. I'd mostly sleep behind buildings or in parking lots and when the stores would open the workers would always tap on my window to wake me up!! LOL 

I then got enough money to live week by week at the local Motel 6. I did that until I got enough money to rent my own apt! I had saved up ALL the money I needed, and then someone stole it, all. I was DEVASTATED, but, I worked harder and made it all back and got my place!!

That was 13 years ago and I never have stopped dancing but I did learn web design and now run a very succesful web design company AND dance. I love it! I have a 9y/o lil man and things are wonderful! 

Great thread! :)
ilovetobenaked
08-08-2009, 03:17 PM
For myself, I am thankful to have gotten into the business, because I have learned sooooo much. I wouldn't necessarily promote the business for others, b/c you do sort of get thrown through the ringer, but it has turned into a blessing for me.
^^^^^^^^^ 
Ditto :)
Winged Dinghy
08-08-2009, 03:28 PM
I'm really impressed with you ladies who started supporting yourself by stripping at 18 and have become such smart, accomplished women. That's really something to be proud of.

I quit my graduate program because I knew I didn't want to teach writing--I wanted to be a writer. So I started stripping and started using my free time to write.

So, the money I made stripping is allowing me to shift gears into a career that is in alignment with my talents and my life purpose.
cyberstripper
08-08-2009, 04:18 PM
I can relate to all of you! I didn't post much about my past but I was independent from 16 and in and out of foster care, had all kinds of probs for a while. Keep the stories coming!!!
Kylea2
08-08-2009, 06:50 PM
I have a pretty long and confusing story, so if anyone wants to hear the full thing you can PM me. Basically I had nothing and couldn't afford anything even though I was working a full time office job. My money was going to bills that weren't even mine before it ever reached my pocket and then nothing was left. I started dancing, paid off everything amazingly fast and figured out I could go to college from the money dancing. By 22 or 23 I had a very nice life including a sports car, house, and college - all because of dancing. Plus, dancing has made me happier than I've ever been.
M3wlove
08-08-2009, 10:40 PM
i am so glad for this thread, its really inspiring..i am starting out right now when the economy is shot, but im very determined and hopeful.
librafox
08-08-2009, 10:42 PM
I love these posts! I truly enjoy dancing and am now at a point where I'm mature enough to see it through and maximize my money! My bf is giving me shit but I told him straight up if u can't respect me whether I'm dancing or notbi don't need you!
Gia2608
08-08-2009, 10:58 PM
I started dancing in RI when I was 20 but I knew I had to get the hell out! My older Sister and almost all of my friends back there have 2 or more children, rent apartments in shitty neighborhoods and have no education to fall back on, as well as the fact that they have jobs which offer little security (waitressing, secretary work, etc). 

I enrolled in a college down here and bought myself a new car and put what I could fit in my trunk and left. I had a three bedroom apartment when I left and my mother was supposed to keep my things for me until I got settled but my furniture got divved up among friends and relatives and ALL of the clothes I had there (like thousands and thousands of dollars worth) got stolen by her neighbor's teenage daughter when they moved. Fuck it! It's just stuff.

To be honest I had a rough time down here for a while, I feel behind in school and had two shitty relationships back to back but right now I really need to get back to where I used to be mentally when dancing was freeing and empowering. 

I did get back in school and just got my 1st degree Monday of last week! Now I am enrolled in University and evern though I plan on working full time I still want to dance at least one night a week so I can save up for the deposit on a home and start a retirement fund and also do some traveling!

But my success story: Getting out of my crappy small town and moving to a city where I knew no one and making it against all odds!
sorsi
08-09-2009, 12:40 AM
I moved to Vegas about 5 years ago with $200.00 in my pocket, a backpack full of clothes and not much else. I left everything behind, I know it was risky but I was tired of my life. I was staying at the WILD WILD WEST (a scary hotel to say the least) until I was able to rent a room. 

I got into dancing and camming, and havent looked back since!! I now have a steadyish lol income, a beautiful condo and my two doggies! I feel like I have accomplished so much in the past 5 years. Everytime I drive past the wild wild west I always remember where I came from and how much progress I have made. Thinking about those times where I cried in my hotel room because I didn't know what to do, or where I would end up always keeps me motivated.

This is the most inspiring thing I've read on here in a long time. :) Good for you, and thank you for sharing!
Melonie
08-09-2009, 12:42 AM
My own 'success story' is a bit different. Before I started dancing, I was married ... gave birth to a son ... obtained a degree in Respiratory Therapy ... and was working in hospitals at a fairly 'good' rate of pay. However, after a divorce, I was left with custody of my son, a ton of debts, and zero financial help from my ex. It soon became clear that it would take me many years to 'dig out from under' those debts and still provide 100% of everything my son needed on my Respiratory Therapist's salary, even if I worked some double shifts and holidays. Then to top things off, it was discovered during a routine test that I had contracted TB from one of my hospital patients, which kicked off 6 months worth of treatments.

At the same time a new club opened up. I decided to take a shot at at being an exotic dancer, in hopes of earning enough money quickly to wipe out my divorce debts and actually being able to save money towards my son's future college education. I was pretty successful at this from the beginning. I then took advantage of a few opportunities to migrate to 'better' clubs, and subsequently expand ( pun intended ) into featuring, magazines, an adult website, etc. 

After about 12 years, I managed to not only pay off my debts and buy a house, but also to save up enough money to fund my son's college education, and also to save / invest enough additional money to allow me to 'retire' from the exotic dancing / adult entertainment world. 

Now that my son is away at college, I had the choice of continuing to live in my home state of NY and return to being a Respiratory Therapist ( or some other straight job) in order to pay all of the taxes due on my 'passive' investment income as well as the taxes due on a straight job paycheck, or to circumvent the taxes and live rather comfortably on my 'passive' income alone. I chose the latter, and am now on a 'permanent vacation' way south of the US border ... where up to $91k per year in 'passive' income is now free of US and NY taxes, and where the local cost of living is FAR less expensive than it was in NY. I will also add that my son loves to visit on semester breaks ( since I now live within relatively easy driving distance of Cancun LOL - 'hey, I thought you came down here to visit ME !' )

~
papillonluvr
08-09-2009, 11:17 AM
Melonie, You are amazing!

As for me, dancing has helped me pay for college, pay off my car, put a down payment on a house, and start paying off credit card debt. Now I am teaching English as a Second Language at a middle school here in town. It is in an at-risk, 70% poverty ridden school, where over half the kids are either involved in gangs or have family invovled in gangs, or are illegal immigrant kids. This is what I have always wanted to do, so I am glad that dancing has gotten me here. :)
rareaspasia
08-09-2009, 11:45 AM
Guys, thank you so much for sharing. I'm leaving my dead end day job in two weeks and while this is definitely the right decision I am scared to death because it's such a big change. Thank you. I needed to read this because I know I'll have my own success story to share in two years!
cyberstripper
08-09-2009, 05:41 PM
My own 'success story' is a bit different. Before I started dancing, I was married ... gave birth to a son ... obtained a degree in Respiratory Therapy ... and was working in hospitals at a fairly 'good' rate of pay. However, after a divorce, I was left with custody of my son, a ton of debts, and zero financial help from my ex. It soon became clear that it would take me many years to 'dig out from under' those debts and still provide 100% of everything my son needed on my Respiratory Therapist's salary, even if I worked some double shifts and holidays. Then to top things off, it was discovered during a routine test that I had contracted TB from one of my hospital patients, which kicked off 6 months worth of treatments.

At the same time a new club opened up. I decided to take a shot at at being an exotic dancer, in hopes of earning enough money quickly to wipe out my divorce debts and actually being able to save money towards my son's future college education. I was pretty successful at this from the beginning. I then took advantage of a few opportunities to migrate to 'better' clubs, and subsequently expand ( pun intended ) into featuring, magazines, an adult website, etc. 

After about 12 years, I managed to not only pay off my debts and buy a house, but also to save up enough money to fund my son's college education, and also to save / invest enough additional money to allow me to 'retire' from the exotic dancing / adult entertainment world. 

Now that my son is away at college, I had the choice of continuing to live in my home state of NY and return to being a Respiratory Therapist ( or some other straight job) in order to pay all of the taxes due on my 'passive' investment income as well as the taxes due on a straight job paycheck, or to circumvent the taxes and live rather comfortably on my 'passive' income alone. I chose the latter, and am now on a 'permanent vacation' way south of the US border ... where up to $91k per year in 'passive' income is now free of US and NY taxes, and where the local cost of living is FAR less expensive than it was in NY. I will also add that my son loves to visit on semester breaks ( since I now live within relatively easy driving distance of Cancun LOL - 'hey, I thought you came down here to visit ME !' )

~

Wow Melonie! I am sure I speak for many when I say I hope that one day I can accomplish what you have in your career! You are one amazing woman.

All of you are!

It has been such a hard time lately but I am trying to be more positive, and this is just what I needed. All of you are so inspiring! Ty for all of your replies and I hope there are many more to come.
NREXM
08-09-2009, 05:49 PM
I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 and a half and went to live with my boyfriend across the country in his small basement bedroom in a house that had five people already living there. I had about $200 and really couldn't afford anything. I looked for jobs but since I didn't have much experience, I didn't have much luck finding anything. I started dancing a few weeks after my 19th birthday and was able to save up enough money to support myself and pay my side of the rent. I saved for a year and was able to move into a three bedroom house with my boyfriend, get a new car, new home decor, insurance, and pay all my bills.

Right now I'm trying to save 50k to start a restaurant. I've meet a lot of interesting people dancing (dancers and customers) and they've definitely brightened my outlook on life.
Axiom
08-11-2009, 03:51 PM
Wow! This is a great thread! Thanks for all the inspiring stories... I was starting to feel discouraged.
chanzep
08-11-2009, 06:01 PM
I heart this thread too, stripping has helped me alot from almost homeless to happy and housed, and right now I have other goals in the process.
Nuclear Martini
08-11-2009, 11:12 PM
I am also a success story in progress.
I was kicked out of my highschool when I was 17 because the school found out that my legal guardian (my mother, who was a mentally unstable alcoholic and had extreme depression) had moved out of the state without me.

I was alone in my city, working 2 minumum wage jobs and was forced to drop out of highschool which has made the entire college process really hard for me. I would have panic attacks almost daily. I had considered many things for survival such as prostituting myself if I ever had to. I never did. 
Fast foward to moving to Miami.

I was a 19 year-old bartender in South Beach (Miami). I worked at a really slow bbq restaraunt and bar and made about $400 a week, I worked 5 days a week and had to take a two hour bus ride to get to work everyday.

My mother had chose to cut herself off of all the meds she was perscribed to and was drinking heavily. She was mentally and physically abusive towards me. I was living with her at the time.

I dreamed of being in college like most of my high school friends were. While many of them were already messing up their college careers by partying and slacking off, all I wanted was a chance to be in college. I wanted to study medicine, maybe even oncology since I had lost many people to cancer. My mother knew about my goals and never assisted me, she never even told me she was proud.

One morning I woke up to the sight of my mom rummaging through my purse. My wallet was in one of her hands and I had already suspected her of stealing from me in the past. I would have loaned her money if she would ask, but we barely spoke to one another. In my half-asleep state, I mumbled "bitch" at her. I woke up to her hitting my head and scratching my eyes, it hurt so bad my eyes were burning. I cried all morning until I went to work. I felt so low that day. If I had any $ in the bank whatsoever, I would have left that day. I then vowed to myself that I would never, ever let myself be in this kind of situation again. Thats when I put two and two together and said "I'm gonna strip and never rely on anybody again" to myself. I went to work that day (bartending at a shitty place), quit two days later, and auditioned at the club I work at today.



Anyways, now I am 20 and I'm in community college, I want to be a dentist. Before I started dancing I wanted to study journalisim, but now that I work for myself I dont think I could work 9-5 office style ever!

I have a car, I live in Miami and take frequent trips to travel destinations in Florida. I now have a fulfilling social life and no one is beating the shit out of me! :D
I take a lot of road trips out-of-state, like to Savannah (one of my fav cities) and to New England (Where I grew up). My dream now is to get accepted into Tufts (or another equally elite Boston school) and one day own enough rental properties to live off of. I also have a pooch that I love to death and a loving man who treats me like a queen.

My self-esteem is through the roof because of dancing. I love myself :). Sometimes I even feel like I'm on the brink of something special (does that make sense? I don't know what that something is, but I definatly feel it).

i wouldnt reccomend dancing to everyone, but its totally changed my life for the better ;D



Oh yeah, awesome thread idea
britneyireland
08-12-2009, 06:56 AM
Here is mine (a literal cut and paste from my website, but honestly it took me several months to get it the way I liked it)

I was an elementary school teacher, until I couldn’t afford to eat. My paycheck just barely covered rent, car payment and insurance. I fell into dancing with the idea of “just until I finish graduate school and pay off Visa….” That was almost a decade ago. Since then, I have embraced the industry and all the opportunities that it offers smart, business-savvy women who are willing to stand up to the societal stereotypes.

During the dot.com craze, I was making great money and didn’t know what to do with it. The more I made, the more I spent, with most of it going towards rent in California. By 2002 I was drowning in consumer debt and filed for bankruptcy. I identified my mistakes, vowed to never make them again, and began my personal journey towards financial literacy.

In January 2004 I took the Naked Assets DancerWealth sales training class in Las Vegas. Although there have been several copy-cats, Naked Assets is the Original Stripper Sales Training School founded by Adam Sternberg that has been featured in Playboy Magazine, 20/20, and CityLife Magazine. Taking the DancerWealth course was the turning point of my dancing career. Afterwards, I began to experience massive success at closing lapdance and champagne room sales. DancerWealth also inspired me to begin my own journey into personal development. I started with the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. 


Three years later I began blogging about how to be a successful stripper on Myspace. I even coined the term “SuperStripper” to describe the mindset and process of running a stripping business. The blog blossomed into a fabulous community of like-minded entertainers and those who aspired to become a SuperStripper.

In May of 2008, I assumed majority ownership of Naked Assets. In addition to the original DancerWealth course, I created the DancerWise and DancerVictory courses to coach entertainers towards SupperStripperdom. My personal goal is to continue dancing until I am Financially Free. This means that I have enough passive income from my investments to cover my living expenses. Becoming a SuperStripper has been a life changing experience for me. When I'm old and bleached blonde, I'll reflect on my stripper experience with fond memories and positive thoughts. Despite the social stigma of being "a stripper" I revel in proving them wrong!
Ivymaid
08-25-2009, 12:09 AM
Bump!

(I am bumping this thread because I am loving all the stories here and would love to hear more!)
missy873
08-29-2009, 09:14 AM
I've been really discouraged because of the economy and this thread has totally given me hope and focus! Thank you for starting this, cyber! 
:)
firemaiden04
08-29-2009, 11:39 AM
I started stripping just for the hell of it, and to semi-support myself while waiting to go back to school. Personally, I don't really want to go back to college, for several different reasons. Especially having just watched my boyfriend finally graduate with his PhD, and the bullshit he had to deal with to get there was surreal, and none of it had to do with education or learning or knowledge. It was all a power struggle and politics. I don't have the patience for that. 

My Mom has been pushing and pushing and pushing for me to go back to school, but I had a bit of an epiphany the other week. I decided that I didn't want to do it, and I wasn't going to.

Now that I know all the money I make isn't going into some savings account my Mom has for me (of which I have no information at all, no account number, nothing) which will be spent on tuition, all of the sudden my earnings have skyrocketed. I want to fix my credit, and get my own place again, and I want to have nice things in it, and I want to travel. So I've already planned a trip to London next month to meet up with my boyfriend, and I'm looking at apartments in the area. 

I feel like now that I can do what I want with my money, all of the sudden I've become noticeably happier and more motivated. I've always wanted to travel extensively, and while I've managed a small bit of it until now, I've realized I can make enough money to go abroad if I want to. And I can have my own wonderful place to come back to whenever I want. I'm feeling more optimistic about it than I have in a long time.
griffinbikini
08-29-2009, 12:45 PM
I was already in school for music when i started dancing after a very bad car wreck and loss of hearing on one side i had to reevaluate my life .My best friend at the time took me to a club she worked at and a few nights later i was working there as well for several years.

This was the start of something bigger I began doing dancer costumes and opened a business what seemed like fun turned into something that ended up changing my whole life and way of thinking. 20 years later we still sell exotic dancer costumes, bikinis, and have another site we are working on for dancers /industry. This business opened up a whole new way of thinking for me and i would never change a thing.

Its still funny to me that people will go oh you used to be a dancer then give you that dopey look yes i was a dancer and i would do it again the best thing that i ever stumbled into.
I have had many friends in the industry that have been able to go to school, take great care of there children, open businesses that they would never have been able to do without dancing.I may be off the stage now but never out of the industry.

Best advice do what makes you happy and keep your money and your men separate
rusdancer
08-30-2009, 05:51 PM
What a great thread!A lot of touching stories.
This business was a tremendous help for me as well.I won't go into details,but if it wasn't for it,I probably would have not made it in this country,having been here very young and without family.
Wild Child
09-08-2009, 09:19 PM
Well, I chose to strip because the thought of it equally enticed and haunted me, as well as scarred and confused me. A combination which most always serves as my compass as to where to go/what to do next. My ENTIRE life (I'm talking since I'm 9) I've been angry at men. ANGRY. No clue why. Might be blocking something out there, not sure. 

Anyways......for some ODD, anti-intuitive reason, the time I spent dancing CURED ME (of that anger anyhow). I felt (and still feel) that I, more than anything, just UNDERSTOOD men now. I could let their stares and comments on the street or at my "real" job slide without popin off. 

Who knew?

Great thread.
Nuclear Martini
03-04-2011, 01:14 PM
I know this is an old thread, but I had to bump it. We have had a lot of new members since this thread has started and it would be nice to get more success stories on here
seashell
03-04-2011, 07:16 PM
This is a great thread! : )

I started dancing at 21 in my 3rd year of college. I had been working a low paying retail job and was still living at my parents' house because I couldn't afford my own place... it was horrible, they were always fighting and my dad and I didn't get along. Having two jobs was killing my grades in school, so I eventually decided, fuck it, I'm going to waitress at a strip club. They hired me, and two months later I started stripping and was able to afford my own apartment with roommates.

I bought all my own furniture, bought a new laptop and a desk for school, and graduated a semester early with awesome grades because my schedule was so much lighter than before.

Now I'm kicking those roommates out, and I have enough money to pay all my own bills and have my own place all to myself, for the first time. It's the best feeling ever. Dancing really puts you through the ringer, puts you face to face with your strengths and weaknesses. But it can give you so much freedom -- I feel like a lot of us here have gotten to places in our lives that it would have taken years and years to reach otherwise.
K Sweet
03-07-2011, 04:18 PM
I remember reading this thread before becoming a stripper. It's nice to see it active again, and this time I can contribute!

Before I was a stripper I was completely broke, continuously getting deeper into debt, barely being able to afford gas to put in my shitty car to get to work and pretty miserable when I was at work. There was no way I'd be able to pay for school, I didn't have anyone to rely on financially to help me if there was an emergency, and I was going nowhere in life.
I've worked my way up with stripping. I first started at a peepshow, which didn't pay great but it paid well (does that make sense?). I was able to use this money to buy myself a better car, which I now use for working bachelor parties. I've used that money to save up for an apartment close to where I plan on going to school and buy a laptop. I now also work at a club in the area I'm moving to, so I'm set up to go back to school and be financially taken care of! I've also made great friends, gained confidence, gotten really good at speaking my mind (this was a huge weakness for me), and my body has gotten much stronger too.

The very best thing though, is the assurance that even in tough times I will manage.
Kisa7513
03-10-2011, 01:08 AM
It is so great to see so many strong women who have used stripping to change their lives for the good instead of blaming it for their problems. Good job ladies!! 

I started dancing back when I was 19. I actually come from a great family and we are all very close. My boyfriend in high school's mom was a stripper back when he was growing up and she just made it sound so fun I wanted to try it. I was taking 43 units in college and going year round to get it done. I came out to Vegas with some friends since my family had a home out here. Back in 1999 you could dance at clubs with alcohol under 21 you just needed a wrist band. I got hired at Cheetah's, danced for 3 nights and LOVED it so I started to come out every week or two to dance. As soon as I was done with school I told my parents that I wanted to put off my job and move out to Vegas to dance. Where I am from in Orange County that was very irregular but I have awesome parents and when I showed them the numbers and benefits they both agreed it was much smarter than the route I was originally going to go. I was also very lucky that because of dancing, I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandfather for the last 2 years of his life and after he did pass in 2001 I bought their Vegas home to keep it in the family. 

Dancing has allowed me to have ZERO debt with the exception of my mortgage on my home in Vegas which is almost paid off at this point. I paid cash for all my vehicles, all my toys, my second home in So Cal. I was able to take 21 months off and travel, be involved in a couple of businesses that provide me great extra income, fully fund my retirement, and make some amazing friends along the way. I was also very lucky that from early on, my family was very good at teaching us to be financially responsible, so from day 1 of dancing I have always put at least the first 10% aside for myself. For most of my dancing career I have saved 25% off the top. 

I don't dance very much anymore, in fact tomorrow will be my first day back in 3 months, but I miss it and my husband is out of town so now is the perfect time to call up my regulars and spend a couple nights shaking my thing.
Jay12
03-11-2011, 06:14 PM
I started dancing right after I got out of active duty to support myself in between drills and TDYs. At first I didn't made enough money because I wasn't that much into dancing (that's why I was so happy making less than 200 bucks), but I eventually managed to step into the game until I eventually made it work for me (where earnings in the high 300's and above became the norm). Now, I have a wonderful place to live, a car, insurance, and a wonderful man to share all those things. Now I'm mad if I only make 200 bucks. 

That was only six months ago.

A ridiculously good massage

I would like a weekly afternoon or late night sensual massage regime scheduled at my house in the downtown Hartford area for an hour minimum. Is that possible?


Want a Ridiculously Good Massage???

I'll touch you in ways you've only imagined. I have a lot of professional bodywork experience, doing sensual massage with women.

Not only do I have a lot of skill, I also know how to hold space for you to be exactly who you are -- and be relaxed, accepted, honored, safe, supported, and yes, feel pleasure beyond belief.

I'm in my early 40s -- young enough to be attractive, old enough to have emotional presence and maturity. I'm tall, fit and attractive. I get a lot of compliments.

You may not have someone in your life right now to touch you in the ways you deserve.
You may have a partner that isn't available or attentive enough, or doesn't know how to touch you how you need it.
Or you might just want a new experience, to make life a little richer.

Contact me so I can tell you more about myself and what I'll do for you. I'll answer all your questions and discuss how I can meet your needs.

I'm ready to give you blissful relaxation and pleasure


exercise friend, with hot showers/massages after

Been feeling like I sure could get into better shape, improve fitness, and make an awesome new friend along the way as well. Would be into things like long walks, runs, cycling, hikes, yoga, dancing, and possibly occasional other fun activities. ;) And, after a nice exercise session, share a relaxing, soothing shower, as well as a nice thorough massage to help with the sore muscles. Plus it's so much fun. It doesn't really matter if you're further along in your fitness, or are also trying to get in better shape. Ideally you'd be in at least decent shape already. And have some experience with these kinds of activities. Im just not interested in gym type activities. I'd rather get outside, and enjoy the fresh air, and being able to change up the routine. Anyway, this is just a little something I've been thinking about, and if you're on the same page, we definitely should talk. We can discuss what we're into, see if our adventurous voyour  personalities will mesh, and then hopefully meet up. If you send a picture of yourself, I'll send one in return of myself. To make sure you're real, please put your age, and first name in the subject, or I won't respond. Looking forward to hearing from you


Married Men only

YOU: 
---- 
Often times over the course of a marriage, the husband takes his wife for granted. The originality, the spontaneity and romantic gestures, caring conversations, long lasting kissing sessions, looking deep into each other's eyes, all those sweet little things that in the beginning made her fall for him are forgotten. And unfortunately that is how the magic is lost and in most cases never rekindled. Intense lovemaking and intimacy is replaced by a predictable sexual routine. Gradually, both the husband and wife grow apart a little bit every day until one day they feel like complete strangers to one another. This leaves both parties desiring what is missing elsewhere. 
The husbands find the thrills outside of the marriage with escorts, at massage parlors, co-workers and etc . . .. . ... As sex to them is a physical act not necessarily attached to any sort of emotional feelings! Husbands who have affairs can be romantic and passionate with the new woman, unfortunately not with their own wives. 
So what happens to the woman? The woman more than the husband needs to be noticed, cared for, be complimented, heard and romanced. Although women are very sexual the majority require forming some sort of a bond with a male other than their husbands to be able to have sex outside of marriage. And that requires time, time to meet someone, time to get to know that person and feel comfortable with him. Someone discreet and trustable because the last thing the wife wants is to make a bad situation worse by others finding out about a private affair since in most cases even though the marriage may not been working in some aspects, the wife generally is not interested in terminating the marriage for an affair. Although the affair is at times necessary for the wife so at least for a brief moment, escape the pressures of everyday married life and introduce some pleasure and excitement into her daily life. 

ME: 
--- 

I am a very attractive, articulate, classy, passionate, cultured, very romantic, adventurous, educated, discreet and well-traveled male. Although never married I understand the inner workings of married life well, both the positive aspects and the difficulties. 

I understand that time is something that is limited for the wife and that absolute discretion and privacy are the most essential elements. 

Now weather, we share thoughts via email or phone conversations, or meet and talk over drinks and coffee, or if we develop an intimate and discreet relationship, I look forward to the experience. 


If what you just read is something you have been thinking about or is exactly what you have been looking for, I want you to contact me. 

Best Wishes

Friday, March 25, 2016

My interracial beliefs on dating as a black woman




Because some Black women still believe that if they date out of their race they are being a sell out. Some still have this dream of the strong black man, and that you are supposed to stick by them. A lot are still loyal to this notion. A lot of our mothers are to blame as well, they try to get us to stick to this notion. I disagree, I was taught to date who treats you right. We are slowly starting to learn this though. It makes me so happy to see a Black woman in an interracial relationship, because that means another one has stepped outside of the box. Out of all the races in America, it seems to be taking Black women and Asian men the longest to do this. I think we should broaden our horizon and get with the program. I am open to all races... Personally I am too picky and have too many requirements and standards to add race to the list. I am willing to date men of every race, but sometimes I am guilty of looking at Black men first, but only because that is what I am familiar with.

First of all my belief is all black men are the most feared race in the world they are they're most threatening because they're the most appealing to every other female race culturally, sexually, spiritually, economically for the continuous growth of a strong future family gene pool. Breaking it all down proves it is purely mathematical equation. If you talk to 100 black women and get one decent one, and you talk with 100 white women and get twenty decent women, it just makes mathematical and economic sense to date the women with whom you would have spent the most amount of time and had the least financial burden. Many black women would yell out, that’s because white women are easy! We respectfully disagree, especially regarding Swedish white women in America; ask Tiger Woods about his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. They are anything but easy and are as tough as black women, mainly because they have no idea they’re white. Being white is an American ideology and culture. So, let’s begin with the first equation; let’s do the simple math, 100 dates, 100 dinners, 100 checks, (plus interests and fees if using a credit card), 100 tips and no guarantees. You’ll be lucky to get a thank you, and at the end of it all may have one real prospect. What would you do? Who would you date? Many young American black women are broken, mentally, spiritually and financially. Do the math. If more black men dated outside of their race they would actually own more assets, houses, possibly stocks and be able to cover the basics like health and life insurance, (which would cut police brutality against the black man practically in half, because they would not be constantly spending their hard earn dollars on woman after woman trying to find a good one. Racism exists partly because most young black men do not have expensive life insurance policies if they have one at all. We all agree that when a black man finds a good American black woman there is nothing more beautiful, but look at the effort that it takes to find that one. It makes no economic sense.

Now, you take the same equation, flip it around and take 100 white women, the odds are that you will find 20 out of that 100. Many black women would disagree with this, because they are not dating themselves; they only see it from their perspective. Why is it that when you go to dinner with a black woman, 9 times out of 10 she will never leave a tip? Why does the white or Asian woman offer or leave a tip? They all have jobs. Why is it when you go to the club and buy a black woman a drink she will take the drink and walk off like you are nothing? Why is it that the white or Asian woman will buy you a drink? The drink the black woman walked off with was $10, which is a little more than the equivalent of an average man’s hourly wages, or 1/8 of his work day and 9 times out of 10 the black woman got in the club free. What would you do? Who would you date? Why is it that you have to be in a Mercedes, BMW or Bentley just for her to give you some attention? Why do you have to wear a Rolex, the best clothes, the best shoes in order for her to be nice to you? Have you ever looked across the table at a white woman and the man she is dating? He can be the bummest dresser, he may even be driving an old car, but she is sitting right there up under his arm. Black people did this in the 60’s and early 70’s, and we had more love and unity. But, today it is not good enough for the majority of American black women. Today you have to keep up with the Jones’s or you get no action.

A high desire for material possessions is not just limited to the black race, but it’s spirit dominates the American black woman. Every man, especially black men, know the key to getting into a black woman’s pants is through money and success. The basics are: nice car, nice clothes, and at bare minimum his own apartment. All of these are depreciating assets, but these are the prerequisites to obtaining the woman of his desire. The majority of black men focus on these goals, not because they want it for themselves, but because they have to have it in order to attract the American black woman. This is why less black men own homes, and look for the quickest route to the money. They desire to become rappers, athletes or drug dealers, all because they know money attracts a black woman, so they try to find the quickest way to obtain it so they can get the prize. The majority of black men in jail are there because they were trying to obtain the riches to please this very same woman and failed. They often took the path of least resistance to reach their goals, which ultimately equals less black men in college. In fact, every race knows money attracts an American black woman, including our large department stores such as Macy’s, Target, Marshalls, Nordstrom’s, etc, and the list goes on. Indeed, the entire American economy knows that black women in America spend the most money, period. This also relates to the American black population in general, including President Obama’s past campaign spending, being the first black president.

He indeed broke the campaign spending record.  There are purposely more stores for women and the biggest of all consumers’ is the American black woman, followed by the American black man trying to please that woman.    

The biggest of all consumers are women. It doesn’t just apply to black women but all races. But the biggest consumer of women is American black women. Therefore they have the most desire for money and the least practical means to generate it. Their desire for money matched with the fact that most black people do not have access to money has sucked true love and common sense right out of the black race. The “Spirit of Materialism”, dominates the woman who is the biggest spender and consumer of goods and services.

We’re not talking about every single American black woman as there are still some good black women in America (Proverbs 31), but between cable TV, BET, MTV, CNN, clubs and videos, most have been programmed not to love and support their black men. Black women desire the love they see on popular television shows such as “Friends”, without realizing their actions are contrary to the results they desire. The truth is a lot of black men end up with women from other races because these women were nice to them and accepted them for who they are and their current status in life. My name doesn’t have to be Snoop Dog for the White, Asian, or Hispanic woman to say hello and be nice to me. I didn’t have to be 7 ft tall with an NBA contract or be a rapper named Lil Wayne. If you took Lil Wayne and made him a regular, normal person without the name, he would get no play. American black women would tell him to get his teeth fixed, hair cut and tattoos removed, and they certainly would not take him home to their mommas. He would get no play. No offense to Lil Wayne, I’m proud of you bro. Keep doing what you are doing. Snoop dog is another. If his name was not Snoop Dog, with the success, fame and money, American black women would not give him the time of day if he asked, but would certainly get mad at the white woman for being nice and giving him the time. “It’s 5pm Snoopy Doggy.” Educated American black women from corporate America would certainly not give him any play. The only reason Snoop Dog gets play is, because Snoop Dog has money. It has nothing to do with whether he is a nice person or not. Sorry Snoop we love you dog, but we have to tell it like it is. His play would be minimum, if any, and it would be reduced, unfortunately, to the lower class hood rats of his former neighborhood, North Long Beach. It’s so easy to see that all the men with money, or who appear to have money attract all of the American black women. Then, black women in America wonder why there are no black men. It’s not that there are no black men, it’s just we are invisible to the American black women if we do not fit the height, roll and description that there mama told them to bring home, or the image they saw on TV. There are plenty of black men; it just so happens that the white, Asian, and Hispanic women find, recognize and appreciate us first.

If we are not driving a Mercedes, BMW, or Bently, and are only driving a Honda Civic, we are invisible and will not be noticed by the American black woman. Don’t be mad when the White girl, Asian girl, and Hispanic girl says,” Hey if you don’t have a ride, I will drive you”.

In fact, the only time an American black woman wants to look at a black man who does not fit the description is when he is with another race or on the 6 or 11 o’clock news for committing a crime. “Hey girl did you see what so and so did?” Any other time that man would be invisible. When a black woman in American acts like she is disgusted with a black man being with a woman from another race, what is she really saying to herself? She’s saying he must have something material, which is why the white, Asian, or Hispanic woman is with him. Therefore, he should not be with her. He should be with a black woman. They could care less whether he is happy or not.

Little does that American black woman know he is the same black man that said “Hi” to her 100 times. But, a simple, “Hello, how are you doing today,” was not good enough for her. Little does that black woman know, he only said “Hi” to her counter parts 10 times and out of the 10 times 2 of those women said “Hi” to him. Most black women think a white woman’s only claim to fame is that they give and survive off of great blow jobs. They fail to see their own errors, which are the simple facts that they were not nice or kind to their own brother.

If you look at TV and observe all the famous American black female movie stars, how often do you see this movie star dating a regular black man who works at Home Depot, or the Fire Department, for example. The biggest insult of all time is Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham, who has been dating an American black woman billionaire for over 20 years. All black women look up to and basically worship Oprah. Oprah insults black men and tears the very fabric of our family structure apart, perhaps unknowingly. She showed black women around the world on a daily basis that, although she raves about dream weddings and pays millions of dollars to showcase them, she never once showed other black women how important her black man was by marrying him. No contract. No marriage. He was always kept in the background. She is a prime example of the current mind state of how black women in American view black men. If you do not make a man feel important or needed, why would he want to come home and be with you?

Oprah’s example is contrary to what is taught in the black church and the majority of most church houses in the American community at large. Oprah is excused, accepted and looked up to because she has money. Most do not realize that Oprah is perhaps still recovering from her many awful childhood experiences. Don’t get us wrong, we love, respect, and thank Oprah for all of her contributions. She is one dynamic woman. Even so, we must still be honest about how we feel as men looking from the outside. A house and a family must have structure Someone has to be the boss and someone has to be the second in command. It’s no different than any American corporate structure. Marriage is a contract, marriage is a business. The serpent understood this very concept in Adam and Eve. So he approached the woman instead of the man who was the head, to deceive the man through his back door. Society has replaced that serpent in the garden, and has influenced American black women through jobs, promotions, and riches to not reach back and give a helping hand to their brother, protector, companion and lover, the black man. Women from other races desire money and riches as well, we all want nice things, but their desire is not as great as the majority of black women in America. They do not necessarily have to drive a Mercedes and own the best furs along with all the pressures of trying to keep up with the Joneses to feel good and validate themselves. Perhaps women from other races have found themselves lonely and looked over and saw that the black man was not being loved. It is better to have companionship even if it is with a dog than be in a cold world by yourself. How many times have you seen a white woman driving with a black man sitting on the passenger side? You can only conclude that this black man doesn’t have a car, but yet she is still driving him.

At the end of the day it is simple mathematics mixed with a little bit of kindness; do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. So many times have I witnessed black men treating the American black women, buying them drinks, flying them around the country; and I can count on one hand on average how many times I have seen an American black woman return the favor. The ones that return the favor easily position themselves to become the wives. When more black men understand what it is to make an investment, they will clearly be able to see that the time spent chasing the American black woman was not worth the effort. At the end of the day, when black men are too old to run and chase black women, they will realize they have been bamboozled. Once they realize this, they will no longer just date black women because it does not make economic or mathematical sense. They will look back on all the time, money and effort spent and realize they could have purchased a home, stocks, health and life insurance, and paid for a child’s college education. We are the biggest consumers, and to be a consumer means we are not investing in assets that appreciate. We only invest in assets that depreciate. Cars, clothes, cell phone bills, apartments, and eating out are all things that hold no future value. This is why intelligent black men, if they did the math will date outside their race.

All black men dating outside of their race are not necessarily smart and intelligent, but what they know on the most basic level is that this person likes them for who they are, whether they are rich or poor. This is beyond what most American black women are willing to do. If you do not have the “Bling-Bling”, the majority of American black women are not trying to speak to you. The only way attractive American black women will speak to you, if you don’t have any money, is if you are over 6 ft tall, look like a model, good hair, muscle bound, and have a certain skin complexion. If you are average in height and looks, these attributes are not good enough by themselves.

The men that fit this description sexually runs through American black woman like it isn’t funny. The proverbial faucet is always running, and they run through the majority of American black women like it’s nothing but a game. Usually the men that are having sex with them are friends of the guy that is totally invisible. We just sit back, observe and say, “Wow”. Being a nice human being simply isn’t good enough. What makes it so bad is that the corruption with the American black woman runs deep. It runs all the way back to the grandmother and sometimes even the great grandmother and beyond.

The end result is that all black women suffer for the actions of the now quadrupling amounts of black women want black men to stay focused on the prize, the black woman has to by force if necessary, smack, pull, prod and teach every single ignorant black woman, that is running like a fool, how to act in a respectful manner, just like we took responsibility for our community 40 and 50 years ago. If you saw someone that was doing something dumb, it didn’t matter, you took responsibility. Little does one know that the actions of a few have now become the culture of many American black women, has now multiplied exponentially, and is affecting the entire population of American black women. Birds of a feather flock together syndrome.

This is why other races of women are beating out American black women; it’s because there is too much ignorance, and it’s hurting all black women chances to find and keep the black man of their dreams. Do the math, the numbers will never lie. If black women did the math, I think they would be in agreement. I know it’s a hard core truth and many may not like it or agree, but sometimes you have to break it down to its very foundation just to rebuild it correctly. At the end of the day, black men would, of course, love to be with an American black woman who is down with him like our First lady, Michelle Obama, is for President Obama. But, please remember it was our President that used to drive a bucket, who one day became the President of the United States of America and Leader of the Free world.