My curiosity started off by reading tales from these customers
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I went to a strip club and I had a lot of money. I was trowing it around like candy. All the ladies flocked to me and I know they really liked me. Really. Then I ran out of money and they all went over to another guy. I think it was a coincidence.
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My lawyers have advised me that at this time and juncture it would be in my best interest not to post my stories here. Therefore I am forced to say, "no comment".
And baby, if you are reading this comment over my shoulder... I'm just playing...now how about I give you a nice back massage and we step away from the computer.
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It was in Thailand, in the mid-1990s. They were performing every trick known to the trade, and yet it was all just so unstimulating. Their bodies were attractive, but something about that goldfish trick just didn't appeal.
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Is it considered a strip club if you're 6 and watching your neighbor from in your room with binoculars?
Yea? Good times then. Goooood times.
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Anytime the stripper starts sharing stories about her kids, kinda ruins the mood.
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I told my girlfriend of 3 years it was 'guys night out'. Went to the strip club later that night with my friends only to find her onstage gyrating to 'Hot for Teacher' and later that she had been dancing there off and on for 3 months prior...
JJJ
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From the age or 18-22, I spent quite a bit of time in strip clubs. It was the late 80s, my friends and I were musicians, it was just the thing to do. Hardly had to spend any money in there though. A buddy of mine was also dealing pot and speed to the dancers and bouncers so we got pretty much whatever we wanted.
For my 21st birthday, one of the girls I knew really well, said that me and my friend should come back for a "wild pair" dance and she would pick a partner. Normally, a Wild Pair was just two chicks with top and bottoms on rubbing lotion on each other for two songs. Well..since we had the hookup, my friends and I were witness to the most rude, slutty, steamiest lesbian live sex act ever. That was 10 years ago and I still remember all the details.
fap
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I was in a club once and spent a whole sheetload of cash on the girls. It was great!
The only problem was that the newspapers found out and my then fiancee got ticked and broke off our marriage.
- Ben.
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Two words. Tampon String.
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Got drunk at Hooters with some friends. My friend brought a hot chick with him who used to be a 'dancer.' She got us into the Vu, bought me lap dances and 'teamed up' with the dancer during said lap dances. But then she got too frisky with me and the bouncer threw us out pretty roughly (on me, at least). Then I took her home and farked her.
That is both my best and my worst strip club story.
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Ninja_Pancakes,
Loved you in "gigli"
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Ninja_pancakes,
PHANTOMS RULED!
But in other news I am a counselor for these situations. If you want give me your ex's number and I'll meet up with her. I'll then proceed to take her out to dinner and make such a complete ass out of myself that she will come running back to you.
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I used to work on the production crew for "The Miss Nude Tampa Pageant" which was really an infomercial for strip clubs on the cable systems leased access channel. It was never fun being asked if the string was tucked. One memorable night a dancer walked up, turned away from me, bent over and spread her cheeks saying "I just went to the bathroom, am I clean?"{3 out of 4 rounds of dancing were nude or partially nude and we did shoot some close-ups}. Kind of like a car wreck, you don't want to look but just can't help it. The best part of that gig was it made me immune to strip clubs. As much as they say places like that objectify women, men are just seen as walking wallets ripe to be separated from their cash. Lucrative yes, sexy no.
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*Now with voting*
For my 20th birthday, my friends took me to a strip club in Nashville. We were all under 21 except for one of my friends. He walked in with 2 cases of beer (it is BYOB). the youngest of my friends starts drinking heavily and decideds at the end of the night that he wants to get a lapdance. It shocked us all because he tends to be quiet and withdrawn. He picks his girl and heads up stairs. 30 minutes go by and no one sees him. We are getting worried. Right about that time, a stripper comes up and tells us we have to leave because he had puked all over the girl while she was giving him the dance. We laughed and ran outside and found him sitting on the hood of my car in the post-puke pose. That is the best time I ever went to a strip club.
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When I was about 24, I got a rather large severence check from a company I worked for in Vegas. Giving a single man in Vegas over $10,000 is not generally considered a good idea. But, as you can probably guess, I spent the money well.
One of the best nights was when I spent $2,000 in a single night at the Crazy Horse II. Yes, I knew all the dancers only wanted one of the Jacksons or Franklins on my table. Still, having six dancers pay that much attention to you for seven hours was an experience that I'll never forget, and as one poster said upthread, it kind of made me immune to strip clubs.
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Worst story: Discovering that lactation can occur long after child birth.
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I once went to this strip club in Mexico. There was this 300 lb stripper up there doing a donkey. I was so trashed, I jumped up on stage and tried to mount the stripper from behind...
good times, good times.
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worst story: going to a strip club in the first place.
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The local government issued an "anti-nudity" ordinance, which prohibits nudity unless part of a bona-fide theatrical presentation.
So the local strippers at one club have taken to performing one-act plays, including exerpts from Shakespeare, completely in the nude.
Saw it. Laughed and laughed. And laughed.
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A few of us went out, taking our hermetic friend with. He wears a leather jacket and happens to have no hair. This becomes a problem when management asks for the jacket repeatedly. My friend agrees but never takes the jacket off. Eventually we are very drunk knocking bar stools over and making noises. We try to walk out the door with our beers and are caught drunkenhanded. My friend calls the bartender the n-word (Ooooo) and we are asked to leave without our beers. I fell down in the parking lot.
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The Forest in Odessa and a dancer with a huge cyst on the back of her thigh slapping her a** on the stage.... it was disturbing
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I was with a friend on his 21st birthday. We kept buying him lap-dances. Later in the evening his wallet is missing. He flips out (drunk, of course) and starts accusing the strippers of pickpocketing him. They deny, he begins to yell and scream. Manager/bouncer called over.
Meanwhile, I actually think to look at the cushy seat he was sitting in. Wallet cramed between cushions.
Got thrown out.
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Me and my buddy stared at this amazing girl all night, (she was by far the hottest) until we made her so uncomfortable she came over to shake our hands.
I don't think a stripper has ever shaked hands with anybody while working...
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I got into an argument with a stripper about who had a bigger dick, and she won.
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I was getting the on-stage lapdance of a lifetime at Club Risque in philly -- the stripper was absolutely amazing looking and the things she was doing were wonderful. When I looked down, however, I realized that it wasn't a stripper at all but A SEVERED HEAD.
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Best time and the only time I've been to a strip club: My wife and I went to Mons Venus here in Tampa on our 10th anniversary 7 years ago. Great fun.
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Friend's birthday.. the farker actually picked up a stripper while getting the couch dance that WE bought him.. He got her number and boinked her a couple of days later.. and oh yeah.. her stage name? "Lucky Charms" ;)
true story
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On the night before my wedding, a number of my friends and I wound up at a strip club called The Squire in Revere, MA. One of the guys that came along was a Christian who felt like that kind of place was wrong; he had protested against going there but didn't have a way home and had to go with the majority vote.
Inside, he kept trying to turn away and not look at the strippers, making conversation instead with whichever of us was near him at the time. One of my more "depraved" friends made it his mission to to get Richard to take in the experience. He would say things to Rich (who was an avid RPG fan) like "Just pretend she's a wizard and she casted a spell on you that forces you to look".
After a while, we decided to just leave him to his own devices and let nature take his course. We'd catch him looking when he didn't think we'd see him; as soon as he noticed that we caught him, he'd turn away again.
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Went to a strip club with a friend, and we're sitting at the edge of the stage in Pervert's row.
A girl comes out on stage with a blanket and fluffs it out on the stage. A single pube comes floating down and goes right into his beer bottle. The look on his face of shock-disgust-laughter was priceless.
Needless to say he now covers his beer whenever a girl brings out a blanket.
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Only strip club experience: at 14, bribed a bouncer with 50 Canadian dollars to let me in (c'mon, I was 14) (and they were Canadian dollars. That's like 12 US). I looked REALLY young. One of the dancer's thought I was hilariously young looking and gave me a free dance.
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My girlfriend and I went to a strip club in New Orleans two years ago. I got soo trashed, I had to have the strippers help me with the ATM to give them more money. When I sobbered up the next morning, I saw that I dropped $200 ($80 in bank fees) on them. Lesson learned, right...wrong.
3 months ago, we go back to New Orleans and go to a strip club. We go to get a lap dance and they talk me in to going to the VIP Room. I'm so wasted I'm signing credit card receipts like they're autographs. All I remember about the stripper was her telling my girlfriend about her suicide attempts and how she became a stripper. Not even a hand on my dick. I felt robbed but I was soo wasted, I didn't even think about it. A week later the statment came and was for the tune of $600. Lesson learned? I hope so...
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Every time they hit my nose with their nipple.
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Went to Niagara Falls with the intention of going to a strip club. Went to get a bite to eat first. Met two sisters who worked at the strip club i was planning on going to. They invited me back to their hotel room to spend the night.
If I end the story there..it sound really really good. Too bad the reality wasn't quite as great.
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Any strip club experience has been bad for me (I have only ventured in the clubs with the lady strippers).
Worst night in memory: one stripper's stomach looked like a pack of hotdogs while she did her thing. Nasty stuff. Then another stripper was like 40-something years old. Nasty again. Even if I liked the ladies I think that I would not have enjoyed that, but all the more because I don't.
Plus I always feel like such a scumbag in the clubs. Like the other guys are always nasty looking trucker type fellows. Open flannel showing the stained wife-beater half covering a large hairy belly. Grisly beards and missing teeth. I have never seen cute guys at a strip club.
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Going to a strip club is Sexy.
Finding a stripper without a venereal disease is Sexier.
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I only went once. I went there with a bunch of guys, and some cash. I left with said guys, sans cash, and a hard on. Never went back.
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Stripper was wearing a g-string, but had neglected to wax/shave outside its boundaries ... looked liked some guy with a 'fro wearing a funny hat.
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HOLY COW!!! - my bullshiat meter just exploded!
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I think my friend once choked to death on a strippers vomit.
It was never proved, though, because you can't really dust for vomit.
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1990 in Edmonton, Alberta. All the boys were trying to get as close as possible to the 'ladies' by leaving cash close to there position around the stage. (3 foot rule in Alberta, Canada) The DJ gave out the reminder that, "you will be ejected from the bar if you touch the girls".
I was drunk enough at the time to figure I could touch them in a loophole - put a bill in my prosthetic hand and pitched it on the stage - just happened to land with the bill in the air - you should have seen the look on her face when she turned around to see what the laughter was all about.
yes, did get hand back... and a shooter-kiss from the stripper.
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I was in a strip club once. There was this one stripper that looked a little bit odd. I decided she was a bit too masculine for my tastes and avoided her.
I found out later that evening that she had been born with both parts and, at some point in her life, decided to stick with the female parts, with a few enhancements to the torse region.
Sometimes, the things I do right when I'm shiat faced amaze me.
There's also a place down the road that has a reputation for hiring dancers that want to be girls and had the surgery done to try and accomplish that goal.
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Easy, just happened to me a few months ago..
I was in Vegas, on the "old strip" downtown. The door said there was no charge to enter.
Sat down, they said there was a two drink minimum. I ordered two budweisers. Price? 10 bucks each. Ouch.
Girl offered a lap dance, said 30 dollars for 3 songs. Took her up on it. She danced just 1 song and said, "OK, that'll be 200 dollars."
I said WHAT?!
She made a slight motion with her head, and suddenly two HUGE black brothers showed up and extracted money out of me.
I left.
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I only went once. I went there with a bunch of guys, and some cash. I left with said guys, sans cash, and a hard on. Never went back.
Sorry mods. Didn't know there was voting.
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We took one of my buddies out for his bachelor party...and of course, went to a strip club. Two funny stories from that night.
1) A friend of our dissapeared in the back....for like 40 minutes! We wondered if he had died or something. When he FINALLY came out we made comment to the fact that he had been back there forever....he looks at us w/ this pissed look on his face & says, "I didn't know you had to pay for every song!" He walked out of there w/ $100+ less money. (yeah, it was cheap)
2) The bachelor was bought one final dance by one of the other guys....he dissapeared into the back & I went outside w/ someone to go smoke a cigarette. About 20 minutes later, all 8 other guys come RUNNING out of the club screaming, "GO GO GO!!!" We later found out that only one dance was paid for, but he got 3. So the woman was looking to collect the other $20. No one had any money left, so they said, "We'll go outside and get money from one of the guys." and out they ran.....
That was hillarous.
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A guy I know was enjoying a lapdance from a rather skanky-looking girl (which is why he liked her!). Anyway, she was rubbing herself along his legs, but unfortunately, she had been less than vigilant with her anal hygene, and he was wearing white trousers. He had fun explaining those lovely brown marks to the wife!
gross
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I was hammered at a strip club in Tampa, FL and asked a particularly hot stripper a simple question. "How do you justify this life to yourself?" She broke into tears then moments later my friend and I were dragged out by the bouncers.
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In High School a bunch of us went to a run down strip club that tolerated poor fake IDs. Towards the end of the night, one of the strippers got on all fours and stayed in the position for about two minutes, mildly gyrating. We all thought she was catering to some guy up in the front. Then, another stripper comes out from backstage and yells out, SHE'S HAVING A SEIZURE! A body guard scoops her up, we can see the whites of her eyes, and a huge puddle of spit pours from her mouth onto the stage. Turns out she forgot to take her medication, and the flashing lights set it off. They wiped the spit off the stage, and the next stripper walked out. We all left.
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